Friday 22 June 2012

#1 Fears (03/20/12)

I've been trying to lose weight for a while(Well, I guess since I turned 12, weight management has been an issue, but took a back burner during an unhappy 9 year marriage, which is when I gained most of my weight).  I think I'm finally on the right track as far as attitude towards food and exercise.  I was on a good role, then it seemed I fell back again.  I think the first and foremost reason I seem to sabotage myself is "What if I don't like my skinny self either.  Then I would have gone through all this trouble and still not liked myself".  As far as my big body, I'm fairly comfortable in it, but it will always be nice to be smaller, but what if I'm out of proportion if I lose all the weight. 
Why do people always seem to have an excuse, including myself for not losing weight, starting the diet, after the next special event, or not working because you just don't have the energy or time.  I don't have energy because my body is lugging all this extra weight, I don't have time because general chores take longer because I'm not agile.   When I began to look at my excuses for exactly what they are EXCUSES, I started to try and figure out why I was always having excuses.   Which is why recently I've found I'm using fear of not possibly liking skinny me as an excuse, and now I'm trying to get rid of that excuse. 
I'm trying to keep to the other reasons why I want to lose weight, to not let those fears creep into my head.  I'm trying to focus on the fact I want to be healthy with my wife, and for my future children, and not to pass unhealthy habits onto them. 
I'm feeling this might be the motivation I need, and at least realizing some of what I fear, I can battle that fear as well.  I'm trying to get some exercise more often, 4-6 times a week with at least three times being a long work out.  Eating a lot healthier lunches and working on dinners. 
 Let's hope analyzing things a bit more helps.

No comments:

Post a Comment