Tuesday 16 October 2012

#147 Trying to Conceive (10/16/12)

Since switching over to blogspot, I have been reading a few other blogs of lesbians trying to conceive, most of which were from some years past and now have children a year or more old.  Most of them have been great for me to get a better idea of what to expect and to be able to get more of the desire to be pregnant, not just wanting children.  (I found it weird to think of a baby growing inside; it wasn’t on my bucket list really, before reading a few blogs.) And reading of the babies’ first year let me glimpse into what life may look like and see what the reward is.  I haven’t really been around too many babies or children for that matter; so the concept was still a LOT foreign to me.  But the desire to have a family with my wife was strong. 

Our plan to get to that point is the obvious for lesbians, IUI’s.  We are spend thrift, and can’t justify the long term costs of keep going until you get pregnant, no matter the costs, when there are children that need homes via adoption. The downside to adoption is it can take a very long time, especially  with wanted a newborn, and more countries having restrictions on gay couple.  Plus we would like to at least try to have one of our own.  So we came up with the plan of try for me to get pregnant three times, if no avail, we will then try to get my wife pregnant three times.  If still no one is pregnant, we will go the adoption route.  Now, reading more blogs and seeing that trying for 6 months and still no pregnancy is almost a normal.  I am worried our efforts will be in vain.  We are always planning for getting pregnant fairly quickly; as it seems our life doesn’t take the slow road for much, while still knowing it may not happen that way.  Reading another blog today whose journey was long, but just reached the 6 month mark of IUI’s, it hit a little harder.  Will I get to my three month mark and be devastated that I was unable to get pregnant?  Will I want to keep trying?  Or will I pass the baton to my wife gladly?  End result we would like to children from the same donor.  If I fail at the first three attempts, we may not get that. Three attempts seems a minuscule amount of time in most TTC journeys. 

I guess we are hoping to be part of the small fraction of couples that are lucky enough to get pregnant quickly; otherwise it will be Three Strikes, You’re Out.  The phrase third time’s a charm comes from somewhere.

Yikes, I’m having these worries and we haven’t even gotten to IUI #1.  Only time will tell what happens

2 comments:

  1. Good to have a plan!

    I remember reading an article (linked somewhere in the archives of my blog) that for a woman under 35, there is something like an 85% chance that she will conceive within 5 cycles. We used that info when trying to decide how much sperm to buy and also how long would be reasonable to try before switching uteruses. :)

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  2. I just find it hard not to second guess myself at this point. Plans chagne though, for now we are sticking to this one.

    Thanks

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