Apparently this is where the shock is wearing off and I am hitting panic mode. The Virgo in me is coming out and I need to accept right now there is nothing I can be doing other than what I am (eating right, resting and taking vitamins).
This morning I made a call to a maternity clinic that deals with low risk pregnancies. I got denied as a patient strictly because my weight puts me as a high risk pregnancy. That put me in a hormonal spin from angry, as I do try to exercise, I don’t eat fried foods every day, I even eat fairly healthy, to stressed that I need to get a doctor right away in case something is going wrong and I need to do something extra because I’m overweight to protect my pregnancy.
In my head I’m getting defensive over what we do/don’t eat for when I meet the OBGYN. I feel I’m just trying to be prepared to cover all directions of conversations with the OBGYN to be protected so I won’t be caught off guard and start crying when the doctor mentions my weight and that I should have lost weight before getting pregnant. I’m getting nervous about the first appointment and I don’t even know who the doctor is going to be.
One of the clinics the maternity clinic recommended in the remote area, I am not sure if I even want to go there. They specialize in vaginal rejuvenation. OBGYN/Plastic surgeon weren’t two things that I thought would be in the same sentence. That would make me extra nervous about doctor’s appointments and whether my doctor is judging my netheryaya; “should I suggest surgery”.
Do you ever sometimes wonder if morning sickness is just caused by stress of being pregnant and all the worries that go with it?
I just need to remember to remain calm; all this stressing is definitely not good for the baby.